Friday, 23 August 2013

Five Lies That Can Wreck Your Marriage

Do want your marriage destroyed? Obviously, no!
All things been equal ,no normal person  get married with the hope of getting divorced latter.There are however some set of belief that is capable of destroying any marriage.I called them the five lies that can wreck your marriage.Here are they:
1.I have married the wrong person: This is the believe of a lot of people when they enter into what seems like irreconcilable differences. The truth is marrying the “right person” does not insure that you will have a good marriage According to Zig Ziglar, it’s possible you did marry the wrong person.  However, if you treat the wrong person like the right person, you could end up having married the right person after all.  On the other hand, if you marry the right person and treat that person wrong, you certainly will have ended up marrying the wrong person.  It is far more important to be the right kind of person, than to marry the right kind of person.  In short, whether you’ve married the right or wrong person is primarily up to you.”
If you make yourself the right person you will hardly complain of marrying the wrong person!
2.I don’t love my mate anymore: Here is another big lie. If you accept and subscribe to it, your marriage may end abruptly. You need to understand that love is not always a feeling, love is a decision.  Love is a commitment.  The romantic feelings that you had when you dated and when you first got married, they may not be as strong at all times.  It is not the feelings that get us through the battles of life; it is the commitment to love.  If you want to love your mate forget all the wrongs and then decide to love!
3.My spouse and I are incompatible: There is no couple that is 100% compatible. It is your major responsibility to work things out. God joins together two flawed people and expect them to complement each other.
4.My marriage is hopeless: It is a lie,don’t believe it. No matter what has happened, that marriage is not hopeless once YOU are not hopeless. If you ever surrender to hopelessness the marriage is destroyed!
5.Divorce cannot affect my children: Whatever your children's age - because even adult children are affected - the impact of a divorce can be one of the most life-changing and distressing things that will happen to a child. If you think divorce has no effect on your kids you are a joker! Here are some research findings you should go through before you opt out of that marriage
+ Children who experienced their parents' divorce view premarital sex and cohabitation more favorably
+ Children from divorced homes suffer academically. They experience high levels of behavioral problems. Their grades suffer, and they are less likely to graduate from high school
+ Kids whose parents divorce are substantially more likely to be incarcerated for committing a crime as a juvenile
+ Teens from divorced homes are much more likely to engage in drug and alcohol use, as well as sexual intercourse than are those from intact families
+Children from divorced homes experience illness more frequently and recover from sickness more slowly.They are also more likely to suffer child abuse
+ Children of divorced parents suffer more frequently from symptoms of psychological distress. And the emotional scars of divorce last into adulthood.

 NB.Please,bear it in mind that no matter what has happen you can still Save Your Marriage !

How To Solve Marital Conflicts(1)

  1. Approach your spouse politely and attack the problem with the sole aim of securing a permanent solution.
  2. Blame not your partner, if you do, you will be forcing him of her into a defensive position and the conflict remains.
  3. Create a conducive atmosphere for the ultimate resolution of the conflict. You’ll do this by shunning fury and bitterness.
  4. Deal with the present. Don’t refer continuously to the past, conflict can never end when you always speak about the past misdeed and mistake.
  5. Educate yourself on issues of marriage constantly. If you are not well tutored what should never trouble your home will be a source of conflict always! Try and learn how to relate with in laws and how to renew your honey moon experience every year.
  6. Forgive and forget offenses. William ward said “forgiveness is a power that breaks the chains of selfishness”It is easy to communicate freely with your spouse after you have forgiven him/her
  7. Give no room for ‘third party interference”. Examine yourself very deeply; are you not over reacting because of what you heard from someone else?
  8. Habitual nagging is a sure and deadly poison. Don’t expand that wound with unnecessary tongue dashing, it will ruin the emotional stability of your wife and drive your husband out of the house.
  9. Insist on peace at all cost. This will generate strong determination and pare way for stronger unity.savemymarage
  10. Jealousy must not be harbored. It is a killer! It will breed conflict upon conflict, precipitate anger, and open the door for bitterness. If your wife is enjoying public applause and fame, don’t reduce her consciously in the home out of sheer jealousy.
  11. Know each other. You must take time to study each other and identify your partners’ likes and dislikes. This will go a long way in avoiding conflicts.
  12. Love covers multitude of sins. There will be offenses; you will step on each others’ toes once a while! All the same, let love prevail. When the wine of love is drying, endeavor to renew it. Go back to your first love and remember that marriage will crash without practical love.
  13. Magnify not the conflict beyond measure. If you "commonize" the issue, you will soon forget it but if you meditate on it continuously and magnify it unnecessarily, you are in for a big trouble (VISIT:  for more articles like this)